SALE NOW ON!

   
Yesterday I blogged about strangers bearing gifts and the perils of letting them into your inner circle of trust.

Today it's the turn of another type of 'gift'.  The gifthorse in fact. Should you look it in the mouth, should you shy away?  Though this is NLP-based it is not about language but about absolute and relative perceptions and the way the mind works..

Day 3 - Observation 3: 50% off, Half Price! Must Be A Bargain?

Basically, your view of the world is interpreted in the order in which you see it.  You walk into a shop, you see a ticket on an item that states 'Half Original Price' or '50% off', you believe it.  Maybe you succumb and grab a bargain?


Only you then walk out and go somewhere else where you find the same item at a lower price than you just paid.  Not great.  But think about your emotions - the very few seconds before you see the second item you are still happy that you have found a bargain and bought something at half price.  You are comparing and contrasting the information you have.  Then, boom, all that elation disappears when you see the identical in all but cost item in a second shop.  You are again comparing and contrasting but with a new set of information.


[In the world of economics, this re-evaluation of something from good to bad can also happen in a relative sense.  You buy something for £200 that is half price and think it's great, only to see something that is not quite the same thing but is only £120.  Some people get disappointed - and feel deceived - by having had to pay slightly more for something that is almost the same but is lower cost.]



This works not only in commerce - and we all should be aware of it in that context given the money being spent on retail psychology in order to grab your money - but it also happens in your relationships with other people.  An example will suffice.

Somebody you find attractive and interesting to be around today can be replaced in your list of favourite friends or colleagues by others as you meet them.  Your information set is expanding.  People do this all the time, there is a constant flow of friends in my close-ish circle as people come and go and are selected and de-selected (makes me sound like a robot?) in my 'preference field'.  But, the better person will compare and contrast with all information and still not allow this to cause people to drop by the wayside.  You really can have more than a handful of friends!  Hard work, I know (but a little easier with facebook style social networking - assuming everybody has access).

But how to stop making bad judgements due to being unable to see all the facts?

The principle of shopping smart, living smart and judging friendships in a smart way and not being taken in is clear.

The key is to only consider each decision (or judgement about someone) you make by itself (but still of course with the benefit of all that information - we don't like knee jerk reactions here!).  This is best done by creating space - letting time pass between decisions.  This causes people to independently determine values - of objects and people.


Next time you see a bargain, sleep on it.


Next time you find yourself judging a person good or bad in your life, create some space and think about it.