These are not my words.. they appeared today in response to a 2 hour long blog/open discussion hosted by The Guardian newspaper here in the UK about local economic development and inward investment. Effectively a talking shop on how best to approach increasing employment and getting foreign owned companies to invest in places outside of London.
As I say, they are not my words (in fact they belong to someone named 'simsum' on the Guardian site).. but I must say I agree with almost every last one of them. And I am qualified to say that given that half of my work involves exposure to people working for local authorities and charged with 'creating' employment!
There is a very good reason that councils are referred to as "simple shoppers" by the private sector because they have absolutely no idea how to create wealth, jobs, opportunities or manage resources effectively. That is the reason they work for the council because they had/have no ambition or ability other than to either obtain a job with a council to stay the course for life or perhaps stay long enouhg in that council to eventually get bumped up the greasy pole by route of drinking with the boss, saying all the right "buzz words" at the right time or the charity work scam!
Numerous examples exist of how housing associations/councils have jumped into bed with PFI contracts without the ability to adequately seek an alternative for the taxpayers. Why? because they simply don't have the skills or ability to do so that is why they work for councils.
I have two relatives who are jokingly referred to as a deputy and chief exec (why these titles exist in local authorities apart from the fact it allows the scam of paying themselves obscene salaries and then claim it is on a par with the private sector i will never know).
What exactly is localism? Does anyone know? Does anyone know how it is applied to the long suffering taxpayers?
How will localism really work when the threat of central government oversight is being waived about by eric pickles like a kebab about to be stuffed in his fat face!
If local councils were able to create jobs, growth, real savings for taxpayers do you think they would be working at the council?
What we have are councils up and down the country who are unable to create anything other than council job hoping managers and fat redundancies at the taxpayers expense. It don't matter to them because it is not their money unlike the private sector entrepreneur who has a personal stake in his creation.
Do all the European jollies and paid for corporate days out really help the local economy and if so how?
The best thing councils and councillors can do is to shuffle paper around and stay out of the way of real wealth creators.
These words come hot on the heels of news this week that a fraudulent company has taken a bunch of headteachers for idiots to the tune of around £300m in a technology and equipment leasing scheme - the headteachers claimed that they were told they could have loads of IT resources and didn't have to pay much for them as an anonymous donor had stumped up most of the money. When they signed the leases (for the full amounts per month - doh!!!) the company then disappeared and they were left with big bills. Some even ended up paying 4 to 5 times what the equipment was worth.
What happened to the teachers? Sacked? No, not really - they have retired on their pensions. Only happens in the public sector! Here's the link
I rest my case.
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
NEW WORLD ORDER..
I read a quote recently that went something like this..
"We must be impatient with those in
the public service who see themselves as
pen-pushers and guardians of rubber
stamps, thieves intent on self-enrichment,
bureaucrats who think they have
a right to ignore the vision of Batho
Pele, who come to work as late as possible,
work as little as possible and knock
off as early as possible."
I am involved in an interesting world at the moment.
One in which the old world order of UK politics is rapidly changing - led
by an onslaught of budget cuts. No or less money means people have
to change how they work - to get the same results with less financial input.
This is great. For me. Given that part of what I do is advise government
departments etc about how to do things a little differently. Now with added 'less money'!
Rapid and constant re-assessment of work is what is needed. Personally and
among the organisations I work with. A lot can be taken from management
and business theory
Insight. Improve. Innovate.
Interesting. Useful. Most of all it also reminds me of a long time ago
in my past when somebody once told me I could get by in the world
with two of the three i's.
This was a different world. And the i's were different. I got away with
it from around 1990 to 2010. Twenty years trading on two out of
the following three; Industry. Initiative. Intelligence.
Those that know me, know which one i I mostly avoided!
And so to now.
Got to get on. Industry seems to be required. Oh dear!
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
ECONOMY WATCH..
Who knows where the UK economy is heading?
Public sector employment is falling. That is, in the main, a good thing. From where I sit - and it is an educated and informed position - the people I've seen losing jobs in the public sector in the past year or two have been well deserved recruits to the dole lines. The really good ones, the committed individuals, are still there or left in frustration some years ago.
I wouldn't employ many of the recent redundancies let's put it that way. These are the people who could never quite grasp that the rest of the world wasn't full of 'training days', extended leave periods for illness and the like. Almost every email to one of these people would get an instant auto-response saying, "sorry I am out of the office until x and will not be receiving my emails...'
But private sector employment took a hit at the beginning of the recession. And it hasn't picked itself up yet. Not even to fill the drop in employment from two years ago let alone to create new jobs for all those useful public sector people now sat at home [at this point the reader should not get unduly concerned for their welfare as many of these people are sat on bundles of (our) cash from very attractive redundancy payments let alone the promise of their cosy public sector, final salary pensions kicking in].
So, here's what the graph looks like with some historical perspective...
Who knows where that line is going to turn - up or down?
In short, nobody.
Thursday, 25 November 2010
I LIKE TO EXCEL!
In a single transaction yesterday I downloaded 5,364,510 cells of data on what people do for a living and where they do it in the whole of England, Wales and Scotland.
That's a lot of cells. It breaks Microsoft Excel so you have to build it into an Access database, or preferably SQL, or whatever.
The official data agency that keeps this data for download and analysis couldn't cope with my demands (they place a 1m limit on the downloading of data) so I had to perform the request in 7 chunks. Why the limit? It doesn't take a brain surgeon to split the request and then re-build it at the other end, but it is mighty annoying to have to do so.
But now that I've got my hands on the data I can do amazing things with it when I blend it into my mapping software (there's the SQL bit) and output that to Crystal Reports! Things that, to my knowledge, no other private sector economist in the country has yet done. Which is good. And keeps Polko a very busy boy.
The problem though is that this data is not good enough.
This is the problem with a lot of UK data to be honest. As one of the leading lights (?) of European economies we should have a great data collection, drilling down into all sorts of very specific areas and allowing a really deep analysis of what is happening at any one time.
The data I have is dated 2008. The 'new' 2009 data is set to be released some time during December and I will again draw the whole of it into my web. But, come on. It shouldn't take 12 months after data is collected to collate it, check it, set it in the correct format for people to download, etc. Not in the 21st Century. I'd like to bet if the government were to outsource this data collection to a private company - and they are already out there - it would be 'on the shelves' and ready to use within half that time. Maybe less.
In fact, in a conversation I had with the Office for National Statistics last week I was told 'there are issues' with the release data and they hinted at it being late..
The data I have details where people work, what type of business they work in, male or female and whether full or part time pretty well. But why can I not then get data that shows me how old they are? A simple addition but it might be useful?
Like I said, outsource this stuff.
There are companies out there that colllect millions of credit card transactions and banking transactions on a daily basis and I can buy summaries for any area of how much people are spending, on what, where and their age and even type of house they live in. This data is updated on a monthly basis and I can have it for September right now if I want it.
Think about it: This guy's salary is your tax.
A tired 12 month old dataset that a group of civil servants have been using for a pillow in a darkened basement room in Whitehall is just not good enough.
Monday, 4 October 2010
NOBODY'S BITCH...
David Droga is an ad executive who jumped out of his fat salary partner position in New York some time ago. He now runs a very successful 120+ strong advertising agency in New York and has a client list that includes Puma, Unilever and Microsoft.
David's advice to anyone who seeks him out to ask such is, "not all the stars will line up at once, you don't need a wacky point of view, get yourself a strong business partner and don't pitch unless you get paid."
In other words, "You're nobody's bitch."
Times are harder than usual to come by work for anyone involved in the pressing of palms, listening to clients problems, dreaming up of creative solutions. But I fully agree with this adage. There's absolutely no reason to go and prostitute yourself on the streets at the lowest common denominator price. You only end up working harder for less.
This is relevant. In the UK right now we are facing a veritable tsunami of ex-public sector employees deluging into the one-man band world of 'consultancy'. They are clutching a little black book of former colleagues and contacts at local authorities and regional agencies across the land.
The main culprits have probably resurrected their LinkedIn profile lately and addded a whole heap of similar concubines to make themselves feel warm and cosy (LinkedIn UK had 3m members in late 2009 and had added a further 1m by June 2010 for example). A few are already taking the leap, taking the money (correction taking the taxpayers money) and setting up on their own. Cheekier ones amongst them have secured three month handover contracts and are contracted back to the place that let them go - typically to train more junior staff how they did their job (because it was so difficult you know).
And so, just like the chart of public sector employment that runs sharply uphill between
1998 and 2008 (see my previous blog) one should expect a sharp increase in self employment in the next decade. And if these people don't set up so called consultancy businesses they will probably start to bake cupcakes and sell them given what I've seen on facebook and elsewhere?
Thing is for most of these people, they were not very, how shall we put it, efficient at their job - we know that now - by 2008 it took 30% more public sector employees to keep the machine oiled as it did in 1997. I know this from first hand and can show you examples of people taking a month-plus to write reports that would have taken me a matter of days - and they had whole departments of research support too!
Anyway.. To my opening point.. I had a meeting with a prominent property agent last week at which he was moaning about the fact that work is getting harder to find, contracts to secure etc etc.. The reaction of his company - one of the top four commercial agents in the world - is to start to drop day rates, commission fee percentages and fight it out with everyone else in the market. Now I think this is false and promptly told him so. There's nothing wrong with becoming more competitive - and any consultant's client should force this as much as possible - but I think by simply competing on price in such a naked way sends out (at least) three very unprofessional and poor signals:
I am nobody's bitch!
Interesting links:
Social networking stats for 2010 summary
10 surprising facts about LinkedIn membership in the uK
David's advice to anyone who seeks him out to ask such is, "not all the stars will line up at once, you don't need a wacky point of view, get yourself a strong business partner and don't pitch unless you get paid."
In other words, "You're nobody's bitch."
Times are harder than usual to come by work for anyone involved in the pressing of palms, listening to clients problems, dreaming up of creative solutions. But I fully agree with this adage. There's absolutely no reason to go and prostitute yourself on the streets at the lowest common denominator price. You only end up working harder for less.
This is relevant. In the UK right now we are facing a veritable tsunami of ex-public sector employees deluging into the one-man band world of 'consultancy'. They are clutching a little black book of former colleagues and contacts at local authorities and regional agencies across the land.
The main culprits have probably resurrected their LinkedIn profile lately and addded a whole heap of similar concubines to make themselves feel warm and cosy (LinkedIn UK had 3m members in late 2009 and had added a further 1m by June 2010 for example). A few are already taking the leap, taking the money (correction taking the taxpayers money) and setting up on their own. Cheekier ones amongst them have secured three month handover contracts and are contracted back to the place that let them go - typically to train more junior staff how they did their job (because it was so difficult you know).
And so, just like the chart of public sector employment that runs sharply uphill between
1998 and 2008 (see my previous blog) one should expect a sharp increase in self employment in the next decade. And if these people don't set up so called consultancy businesses they will probably start to bake cupcakes and sell them given what I've seen on facebook and elsewhere?
Thing is for most of these people, they were not very, how shall we put it, efficient at their job - we know that now - by 2008 it took 30% more public sector employees to keep the machine oiled as it did in 1997. I know this from first hand and can show you examples of people taking a month-plus to write reports that would have taken me a matter of days - and they had whole departments of research support too!
Anyway.. To my opening point.. I had a meeting with a prominent property agent last week at which he was moaning about the fact that work is getting harder to find, contracts to secure etc etc.. The reaction of his company - one of the top four commercial agents in the world - is to start to drop day rates, commission fee percentages and fight it out with everyone else in the market. Now I think this is false and promptly told him so. There's nothing wrong with becoming more competitive - and any consultant's client should force this as much as possible - but I think by simply competing on price in such a naked way sends out (at least) three very unprofessional and poor signals:
- the first is a statement that we can do it for less but in the past
ten years when times were good we were taking more money
out of your pocket than we should have been.
Not a great statement to make?
- the second is saying we are desperate enough now to undercut
our rivals just to secure your business - hence you the client are the
most important factor in the equation and wield all the power. This
of course should be something that a good consultant makes a client feel
whilst very firmly retaining the control in the relationship. I tend to try
and make the client see the benefits of hiring our firm or buying our products
and they then feel grateful for you pointing out their competitors are already
doing this so they might just lose out if they don't etc etc - regain control.
- Lastly, by dropping fees in an all-out battle with competitors you say, "we are
no different to anyone else." I firmly believe my business to be unique. We do
things others don't. Our services stand above the crowd. Why would I want
to line up on the Mac-menu with everybody else? Conviction and stamina have
got me to where I am today in my business.
I am nobody's bitch!
Interesting links:
Social networking stats for 2010 summary
10 surprising facts about LinkedIn membership in the uK
Thursday, 2 September 2010
LEPers Day!
Tomorrow, 3rd September, is LEP day in the UK.
Let me explain. Since the change in government here during the Spring the coalition, led firmly by the Conservatives and with little real influence from the Liberal Democrat Party, have engaged on a de-construction exercise of the public sector. This would have probably happened anyway given that the Labour Party had spent so much money - even they didn't realise exactly how much - on boosting public sector employment and influence over things economic in the past 10 years or so.
A little diagram will suffice - the expansion of public sector employment in total employment 1998 to 2008. A jump that equates to 1.3 million more people employed by public sector organisations. At some point during 2002 the public sector became the largest employer type in the UK economy, surpassing even 'distribution, hotels and restaurants' which has always been a big employing sector given the number of part time jobs that it provides.
'nuff said.
I will not be drawn into the debate on whether this was good, bad or indifferent. But the key thing right now is that the country cannot afford to employ such a large scale public sector workforce as the tax take from other activities is not high enough and fewer people are now in work in non-public sector organisations. Added to that, the government is finding it more difficult to borrow ever increasing amounts of money to fund such a public expansion in today's credit crunch climate.
So what about LEPers?
Local Economic Partnerships LEPs are the dynamic new buzzword on the block since the coalition government came into power. The LEP movement (don't look for any real movement.. not yet.. they're still drawing up their plans and Word documents!) is essentially a nice way of combining some powers from local authorities and other public sector organisations into (hopefully) smaller organisations that cover a large area somewhere between local and regional - i.e. cost cutting in the main.
There are plenty of reasons why this is a good idea - joint buying power will help drive down costs where the same work is required across a wider than local authority geography for example. The main and immediate casualties of the new LEPers will be the demise of the Regional Development Agencies, organisations that have had a massive allocation of money from the central government budget and who have been the focus of much criticism for the way in which they have operated / boosted staff numbers / become political / opened international offices / duplicated work of other organisations despite also ploughing (tens of) millions into each of the regions of England and Wales. It is unfortunately in vogue to give them a good kicking right now rather than assess the many things they did right in each region. And they did. But don't quote me on that one.
But there are also many reasons to be suspicious about LEPs becoming just a re-branding exercise rather than a re-construction. More of that in a later blog. Perhaps.
So why LEP Day?
3rd September is the first deadline set by government for the receipt of initial LEP plans. There are so many flavours coming out of the various parts of the country that it is impossible to see the new shape of economic development as yet. What is clear is that the government have been trying to make LEP authors work hard at defining what it is they want to do in future.
Some areas have found this very hard indeed, lacking clarity among groups of local bodies or simply lacking the intellect to put together anything but a document that contains all the buzzwords. This is exactly what a lot of public sector management staff have been busy (possibly the wrong word?) doing for far too long to be honest.
Other areas have everything in place already. Manchester, ever a pioneer in things economic development, were the first to announce a coalition of ten local authority areas and a Shadow Board to drive it forward within weeks of the call for LEP proposals.
One thing is for sure.
It's all change at Regeneration Grand Central...
Sunday, 25 October 2009
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
I am an economist, just like the Chancellor and now Prime Minister Gordon Brown (though thankfully a very different flavoured one than him)..
Today's news on the BBC website carries the story that Mr Brown has promised the UK economy will not only recover but will return to growth in 2010..
Who does he think he is? That kind of talk gets economists and economic theory a bad name. We do forecast variables from time to time, my favourites being population numbers, but are never as blasé as to think we can know what will happen in the future. Maybe Mr Brown has had a visit from Marty McFly or a replicant from the future? Maybe, as is more likely, he's just in denial of reality.
Whatever Mr Brown.
What I know for certain is that we wouldn't be in our current situation and would certainly have been better off if you and yours hadn't handed the banks money on a plate just to get your ugly mugs in with the electorate (which didn't work anyway). The bankers must have laughed their socks off when they got away with that kind of treatment last year. Brown & a bunch of former teachers and union reps meddling in international financial markets like they were some sort of financial guru's. I know plenty of other people with strong views about life in the City that have never been within a mile of the Square Mile (in my defence at least I used to work there but I still exercise caution when criticising traders lifestyles and pay rates)..
Yesterday's FT Weekend carried an interview with George Soros, someone I trust to know what is going on in the world of finance a lot more than some baggy suited, overweight Scottish geek. This is someone that landed in the US post-war with less than $5 to his name and is now one of the richest men on the planet. All through gaining a deep psychological understanding of how humans and therefore groups of humans (i.e. markets) work.
So, in closing I am happy to quote 'The Man':
Soros characterises Wall Street profits as 'gifts' from the state
"those [bank] earnings are not the achievement of risk-takers, these are gifts , hidden gifts, from the government, so I don't think that those monies should be used to pay bonuses. There's a resentment which I think is justified."
Soros is giving a series of lectures in Budapest next week in which he is developing these thoughts. I may well step on a plane if I could only get a ticket!
Today's news on the BBC website carries the story that Mr Brown has promised the UK economy will not only recover but will return to growth in 2010..
Who does he think he is? That kind of talk gets economists and economic theory a bad name. We do forecast variables from time to time, my favourites being population numbers, but are never as blasé as to think we can know what will happen in the future. Maybe Mr Brown has had a visit from Marty McFly or a replicant from the future? Maybe, as is more likely, he's just in denial of reality.
Whatever Mr Brown.
What I know for certain is that we wouldn't be in our current situation and would certainly have been better off if you and yours hadn't handed the banks money on a plate just to get your ugly mugs in with the electorate (which didn't work anyway). The bankers must have laughed their socks off when they got away with that kind of treatment last year. Brown & a bunch of former teachers and union reps meddling in international financial markets like they were some sort of financial guru's. I know plenty of other people with strong views about life in the City that have never been within a mile of the Square Mile (in my defence at least I used to work there but I still exercise caution when criticising traders lifestyles and pay rates)..
Yesterday's FT Weekend carried an interview with George Soros, someone I trust to know what is going on in the world of finance a lot more than some baggy suited, overweight Scottish geek. This is someone that landed in the US post-war with less than $5 to his name and is now one of the richest men on the planet. All through gaining a deep psychological understanding of how humans and therefore groups of humans (i.e. markets) work.
So, in closing I am happy to quote 'The Man':
Soros characterises Wall Street profits as 'gifts' from the state
"those [bank] earnings are not the achievement of risk-takers, these are gifts , hidden gifts, from the government, so I don't think that those monies should be used to pay bonuses. There's a resentment which I think is justified."
Soros is giving a series of lectures in Budapest next week in which he is developing these thoughts. I may well step on a plane if I could only get a ticket!
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
WHAT A WASTE..
Re-branding has been seeping through the whole political dung heap for a while now, often under the guise of real restructuring... but in the main what has really been happening has been a complete waste of taxpayers money on new logos, new stationery, making government e-ready, etc etc. spin spin spin.. Look we're really busy restructuring.. what? we are supposed to deliver policy? No mate. Do something mate? Not me mate. I'm in New Labour. I mainly just talk about it.
Here's just one among a myriad of examples. Hold on tight to your seats as it gets extremely messy.
But first, switch on your speakers and click here if you want a nice soundtrack to the whole sad sorry affair.."
In a feat of mayhem mathematics when Gordon Brown came to power in 2007 he re-branded (sorry 're-structured') two government departments in the name of streamlining into three. See diagram below. The DES and DTI were re-divided into DCSF and DBERR with a third department created from the University and Skills functions (of DES) and Science and Innovation functions (of DTI) to be known as the Department for Innovation Universities and Skills, the DIUS.
Now DIUS went about their business getting ready their new logos, stationery, website, the mechanisms of modern government... getting exciting isn't it?
Everything was going to be different from hereon in. The country was heading into the brave new modern world of 'knowledge transfer', 'innovation', 'competitiveness', even 'advanced manufacturing'.. (Q: what do these spin concepts really cover?)
Only in June this year Gordon decided to stop the process, disband DIUS and create a new department.. the Department for Business Innovation and Skils.. clearly the University bit was getting in the way of acceptance by business.. surprise, surprise.
Trouble is DIUS has spent £953,911 on building their website alone and god knows how much more on the other goodies of empire building.. Leaks are coming out of the DIUS Commons Select Committee that the final bill for DIUS alone is around £7.1 million. And thats a minimum estimate.
Worryingly, this is just one story in the naked city of New Labour..
Continuous rebranding is clearly a waste of money. If politicans took the time to stick their head in the real world they'd notice business doesn't rebrand or restructure itself that often.
What has been happening in these latter days of the New Labour 'modernisation campaign' is a concentration on selling the product rather than having any decent product to sell. When you really dig deep it appears that most of it is generally about selling a con (spin) or wishlist rather than being based on anything solid. There appears to be a belief in the present government that if you say something often enough it will become true. And Gordon this week is repeatedly saying 'it's not over yet..' From where I'm sat he appears to have fallen foul of his own spin machine.
God Bless New Labour and all who sail in her.. only to the other side of the world please!
Here's just one among a myriad of examples. Hold on tight to your seats as it gets extremely messy.
But first, switch on your speakers and click here if you want a nice soundtrack to the whole sad sorry affair.."
In a feat of mayhem mathematics when Gordon Brown came to power in 2007 he re-branded (sorry 're-structured') two government departments in the name of streamlining into three. See diagram below. The DES and DTI were re-divided into DCSF and DBERR with a third department created from the University and Skills functions (of DES) and Science and Innovation functions (of DTI) to be known as the Department for Innovation Universities and Skills, the DIUS.
Now DIUS went about their business getting ready their new logos, stationery, website, the mechanisms of modern government... getting exciting isn't it?
Everything was going to be different from hereon in. The country was heading into the brave new modern world of 'knowledge transfer', 'innovation', 'competitiveness', even 'advanced manufacturing'.. (Q: what do these spin concepts really cover?)
Only in June this year Gordon decided to stop the process, disband DIUS and create a new department.. the Department for Business Innovation and Skils.. clearly the University bit was getting in the way of acceptance by business.. surprise, surprise.
Trouble is DIUS has spent £953,911 on building their website alone and god knows how much more on the other goodies of empire building.. Leaks are coming out of the DIUS Commons Select Committee that the final bill for DIUS alone is around £7.1 million. And thats a minimum estimate.
Worryingly, this is just one story in the naked city of New Labour..
Continuous rebranding is clearly a waste of money. If politicans took the time to stick their head in the real world they'd notice business doesn't rebrand or restructure itself that often.
What has been happening in these latter days of the New Labour 'modernisation campaign' is a concentration on selling the product rather than having any decent product to sell. When you really dig deep it appears that most of it is generally about selling a con (spin) or wishlist rather than being based on anything solid. There appears to be a belief in the present government that if you say something often enough it will become true. And Gordon this week is repeatedly saying 'it's not over yet..' From where I'm sat he appears to have fallen foul of his own spin machine.
God Bless New Labour and all who sail in her.. only to the other side of the world please!
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
BLACK STEEL IN THE HOUR OF CHAOS..
I got a (email) letter from the government (well Business Link anyway)
The other day
I opened and read it
It said they were suckers
They wanted to know..
Does Government Do Enough for YOUR Business?
..and then went on in a diatribe about the various forms of help we could possibly access through becoming members of the local Chamber of Commerce, booking a meeting with a Business Link advisor etc
Now, that's all well and good. But, another part of government - central government this time - has recently cheesed me off good and proper.
I use a lot of official data in my work. And I mean a lot. Like the other day when I tried to download a national dataset from a well known database and it stopped me telling me I couldn't carry on as I was asking for more than 1,000,000 cells of data. Oops. But I really did want the lot as I was mapping something across the entire UK at VERY high resolution!
Anyway.. I also needed to assemble some schools performance data and it would be easier if I had the latest dataset for the whole country - every single local authority area across 12 or so variables. Not a lot to ask for really (4,380 or so items or cells). I have the data in official Excel tables and a lot more besides for each year since 2000 as I have a friend in the central statistical office who helpfully and cheerily sends me the files. This year for some reason I forgot to ask for them in January when they were refreshed.
So, I browsed the usual website (Department for Culture Schools and Families is its name this month - the government may well decide to change it soon.. they do that you know! gives em something to do and creates new linkages between 'joined up government'). The dataset was not there - unhelpfully the only schools data anyone can get to is individual schools or individual Local Education Authority areas.. not useful if you are working on a national level unless you have a full day and nothing to do but transcribe numbers between web pages and Excel!? Which I am assuming nobody does?
I called DCSF direct. I say direct. But what I mean is I called the company that holds the contract to disseminate DCSF data. Prolog they're called. Unhelpful is not the word. After the fourth call back (first time I was placed on hold for 23 minutes and decided enough was enough, second I got cut off and third the woman was very bad mannered and told me she didn't know what I was going on abarrrrt.. with a long East Midlands drawl of an accent) was told by a very young contact centre agent that the data I wanted didn't exist..
Now I know it exists given that I have it for every year since 2000 and have been using it professionally since around 1994!
I blasted off a request on the Prolog website detailing what it is I wanted.
I got the auto-response saying it was being dealt with after a few hours.
I got a second one saying it was still being dealt with after three days.
I then got another response saying they had dealt with it. They had forwarded my request to another (this time government) department and I should get a response within 15 days. Note should not would?
15 f*king DAYS!!! I am in the real world here people. The private sector. The world where a report takes a few days to write and clients need it to use in their real world decisions. 15 days is just ridiculous!
So, I am still waiting for the response.. Approaching 10 days now.
Lucky I have the intelligence to use the telephone and call that friend in the central department that do know what they're doing. She emailed me the full national tables (all 24 of 'em) within the hour on the day when I was told they didn't exist..
Is this government doing enough for my business?
You decide.
The other day
I opened and read it
It said they were suckers
They wanted to know..
Does Government Do Enough for YOUR Business?
..and then went on in a diatribe about the various forms of help we could possibly access through becoming members of the local Chamber of Commerce, booking a meeting with a Business Link advisor etc
Now, that's all well and good. But, another part of government - central government this time - has recently cheesed me off good and proper.
I use a lot of official data in my work. And I mean a lot. Like the other day when I tried to download a national dataset from a well known database and it stopped me telling me I couldn't carry on as I was asking for more than 1,000,000 cells of data. Oops. But I really did want the lot as I was mapping something across the entire UK at VERY high resolution!
Anyway.. I also needed to assemble some schools performance data and it would be easier if I had the latest dataset for the whole country - every single local authority area across 12 or so variables. Not a lot to ask for really (4,380 or so items or cells). I have the data in official Excel tables and a lot more besides for each year since 2000 as I have a friend in the central statistical office who helpfully and cheerily sends me the files. This year for some reason I forgot to ask for them in January when they were refreshed.
So, I browsed the usual website (Department for Culture Schools and Families is its name this month - the government may well decide to change it soon.. they do that you know! gives em something to do and creates new linkages between 'joined up government'). The dataset was not there - unhelpfully the only schools data anyone can get to is individual schools or individual Local Education Authority areas.. not useful if you are working on a national level unless you have a full day and nothing to do but transcribe numbers between web pages and Excel!? Which I am assuming nobody does?
I called DCSF direct. I say direct. But what I mean is I called the company that holds the contract to disseminate DCSF data. Prolog they're called. Unhelpful is not the word. After the fourth call back (first time I was placed on hold for 23 minutes and decided enough was enough, second I got cut off and third the woman was very bad mannered and told me she didn't know what I was going on abarrrrt.. with a long East Midlands drawl of an accent) was told by a very young contact centre agent that the data I wanted didn't exist..
Now I know it exists given that I have it for every year since 2000 and have been using it professionally since around 1994!
I blasted off a request on the Prolog website detailing what it is I wanted.
I got the auto-response saying it was being dealt with after a few hours.
I got a second one saying it was still being dealt with after three days.
I then got another response saying they had dealt with it. They had forwarded my request to another (this time government) department and I should get a response within 15 days. Note should not would?
15 f*king DAYS!!! I am in the real world here people. The private sector. The world where a report takes a few days to write and clients need it to use in their real world decisions. 15 days is just ridiculous!
So, I am still waiting for the response.. Approaching 10 days now.
Lucky I have the intelligence to use the telephone and call that friend in the central department that do know what they're doing. She emailed me the full national tables (all 24 of 'em) within the hour on the day when I was told they didn't exist..
Is this government doing enough for my business?
You decide.
Friday, 17 July 2009
POSITIVE THINKING
People are not exactly happy right now. And I mean this generally and, through those that I meet in my day to day going about the place, I mean it specifically. Why? Some of the causes are obvious - economic woes, global flu pandemic worries, dare I even add over-consumption in the last boom period?
What is clear to me is that the underlying problems of many people - and certainly society (and what is society but the actions of each person summed?) - is they are in shock.
The credit crunch was one shock, the resulting downturn in demand and economic recession period is another that we are running along the bottom of. News that maybe 100,000 people per day in the UK alone will be catching an unknown flu and death rates estimated by central government of between 6,500 and 750,000 (no, really, who on earth leaked that estimate range??). Damn, some people are even having to hand back the keys to their houses and their B M double shits and Range Rover Shits, sorry Sports.. All shocks to the people involved.
What history will tell you is that shocks cause people to do things differently, sometimes radically differently.
My own shock (I reckon to date I'm lucky as I've only really had one) occurred in Spring 2004, a crime that made me and my close ones look at life in a different way. We sold up, bought into a new way and as a result changed our life radically. I mean look at my big cock on the top picture.. who would have thought I'd ever have a big cock!
So, people who are sitting waiting for the normal world to return, businesses who are trying to sit it out, countries that are trying to stimulate old ways of doing things, demand management, quantitative easing - call it what you want - all these groups are playing the wrong cards. Once the recession is over, however it ends and economic growth returns (and there's another implicit assumption that might not be right to make?) the world will be a different place, operating by different rules to some extent or another.
Get thinking. The rule book just got thrown out of the window. The new one has not yet been written.
Opportunities abound. Now!
What is clear to me is that the underlying problems of many people - and certainly society (and what is society but the actions of each person summed?) - is they are in shock.
The credit crunch was one shock, the resulting downturn in demand and economic recession period is another that we are running along the bottom of. News that maybe 100,000 people per day in the UK alone will be catching an unknown flu and death rates estimated by central government of between 6,500 and 750,000 (no, really, who on earth leaked that estimate range??). Damn, some people are even having to hand back the keys to their houses and their B M double shits and Range Rover Shits, sorry Sports.. All shocks to the people involved.
What history will tell you is that shocks cause people to do things differently, sometimes radically differently.
My own shock (I reckon to date I'm lucky as I've only really had one) occurred in Spring 2004, a crime that made me and my close ones look at life in a different way. We sold up, bought into a new way and as a result changed our life radically. I mean look at my big cock on the top picture.. who would have thought I'd ever have a big cock!
lol
So, people who are sitting waiting for the normal world to return, businesses who are trying to sit it out, countries that are trying to stimulate old ways of doing things, demand management, quantitative easing - call it what you want - all these groups are playing the wrong cards. Once the recession is over, however it ends and economic growth returns (and there's another implicit assumption that might not be right to make?) the world will be a different place, operating by different rules to some extent or another.
Get thinking. The rule book just got thrown out of the window. The new one has not yet been written.
Opportunities abound. Now!
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
TO HEL(MAND) AND BACK
I recently came back from a weekend away feeling a little run down and last night had a kiler sore throat so I was up in the middle of the night consulting WHO guidelines on swine flu symptoms. The array of very general advice that has been posted by UK government agencies led me to start thinking..
Who Do I Believe?
So, I've got a sore throat, losing my voice, woke up in the night hotter than usual and a bit achy.
The government's Swine Flu website tells me that these are all potential signs of an onset, although the sore throat element is not usual but has occurred, in some cases.. helpfully vague. Then I notice a link titled 'current emergency situations - find your local authority. Sounds like they are gearing up for a flood of emergencies nationwide - which is worrying given the downplaying of the whole issue generally. I am asked to put in my postcode (not bloody likely - I've seen Survivors and 28 Days Later and the sound of boots and loaded MP5's on my doorstep isn't one I want to experience!) or my local authority area, which I did. This redirects me to my helpfully-absent-of-any-obvious-link homepage of ABC Council.. Great. They're taking it seriously then.
Another link yielded an NHS site with a hopefully titled 'NHS Flu Symptom Checker.' Trouble is, I clicked and answered two questions, the second being have you a swelling in your throat (which is clearly true given I'm losing my voice). The next page flashes up in red and tells me to dial 999 immediately?? By the time you read this I'll either be dead of some rare emergency case sore throat disease, or the throat will just be subsiding? Either way, I'm not the type to call for an ambulance and waste your tax money on a minor irritating illness. Lesson is if you do use the NHS tool, you are quite likely going to convince yourself you have early onset signs..
So..
Do I Believe?
flu pandemic. scaremongering the population. restriction of travel? I hope not. It didn't work for the Soviets when they tried it to stop the exchange of ideas and a flu virus is more easily exchanged with another human being than an idea I believe? It seems to me that a lot of what's been going on with flu news has been to keep the population focused on other things than the fact that the UK along with many other countries isn't as well endowed in the research and medical containment departments as we might like to believe. Great Britain is no longer as Great as it was. We all know that. Why do some politicans, noticeably at present one particular (Scottish) one with ill fitting suits, still act as if it is?
..which neatly brings me to that other politically driven news item..
Constant shelling and bombing offshore and at some unknown distant location. Continual reports of deaths of 'our people'. Incitement of hate among a population against an enemy that has never really been witnessed by them. Sorry, I've read this somewhere before? George Orwell's 1984 happens to be one of my favourite books, having had to read it first for my O Level English way back when. It has become the most worn out well-leafed book in my library since that time and I must have read it around 10 times in my adult life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no conspiracy theory loving ignoramous, I'm not easily sold on sinister plots, but I don't believe everything that I see coming out that three foot tube in the corner of the room (ok, I know most people have flatscreens these days and they're a lot bigger than 3 foot and, just to kill this thread off, tube technology is well and truly out.. but hey! indulge this child of the 80s a little).
I Believe..
There's a lot of evil and sorry shit going on along the 3,550 mile long black line in the pic below, but the one thing I firmly believe is..
..there's a whole heap of shit happening at one end of it. Now I'm not a big military type (unless you count my near addiction to Call of Duty 4 on Playstation 3) but my thoughts are increasingly with the people over in Helmand. When will it end? Hopefully soon as if you look at the stats and what's happened in other 'escalations of activity' (that could only be a politicians phrase), the rate of deaths is growing very fast indeed.
Believe.
* footnote. Don't think I'm that clever! The scaling down in this blog's subtitles from Who Do I Believe... to Believe.. is not my clever literary invention. If you want to know more google 'Heaven 17 Do I Believe' and consult their excellent lyrics. A track from their Bigger Than America CD.
Who Do I Believe?
So, I've got a sore throat, losing my voice, woke up in the night hotter than usual and a bit achy.
The government's Swine Flu website tells me that these are all potential signs of an onset, although the sore throat element is not usual but has occurred, in some cases.. helpfully vague. Then I notice a link titled 'current emergency situations - find your local authority. Sounds like they are gearing up for a flood of emergencies nationwide - which is worrying given the downplaying of the whole issue generally. I am asked to put in my postcode (not bloody likely - I've seen Survivors and 28 Days Later and the sound of boots and loaded MP5's on my doorstep isn't one I want to experience!) or my local authority area, which I did. This redirects me to my helpfully-absent-of-any-obvious-link homepage of ABC Council.. Great. They're taking it seriously then.
Another link yielded an NHS site with a hopefully titled 'NHS Flu Symptom Checker.' Trouble is, I clicked and answered two questions, the second being have you a swelling in your throat (which is clearly true given I'm losing my voice). The next page flashes up in red and tells me to dial 999 immediately?? By the time you read this I'll either be dead of some rare emergency case sore throat disease, or the throat will just be subsiding? Either way, I'm not the type to call for an ambulance and waste your tax money on a minor irritating illness. Lesson is if you do use the NHS tool, you are quite likely going to convince yourself you have early onset signs..
So..
Do I Believe?
flu pandemic. scaremongering the population. restriction of travel? I hope not. It didn't work for the Soviets when they tried it to stop the exchange of ideas and a flu virus is more easily exchanged with another human being than an idea I believe? It seems to me that a lot of what's been going on with flu news has been to keep the population focused on other things than the fact that the UK along with many other countries isn't as well endowed in the research and medical containment departments as we might like to believe. Great Britain is no longer as Great as it was. We all know that. Why do some politicans, noticeably at present one particular (Scottish) one with ill fitting suits, still act as if it is?
..which neatly brings me to that other politically driven news item..
Constant shelling and bombing offshore and at some unknown distant location. Continual reports of deaths of 'our people'. Incitement of hate among a population against an enemy that has never really been witnessed by them. Sorry, I've read this somewhere before? George Orwell's 1984 happens to be one of my favourite books, having had to read it first for my O Level English way back when. It has become the most worn out well-leafed book in my library since that time and I must have read it around 10 times in my adult life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no conspiracy theory loving ignoramous, I'm not easily sold on sinister plots, but I don't believe everything that I see coming out that three foot tube in the corner of the room (ok, I know most people have flatscreens these days and they're a lot bigger than 3 foot and, just to kill this thread off, tube technology is well and truly out.. but hey! indulge this child of the 80s a little).
I Believe..
There's a lot of evil and sorry shit going on along the 3,550 mile long black line in the pic below, but the one thing I firmly believe is..
..there's a whole heap of shit happening at one end of it. Now I'm not a big military type (unless you count my near addiction to Call of Duty 4 on Playstation 3) but my thoughts are increasingly with the people over in Helmand. When will it end? Hopefully soon as if you look at the stats and what's happened in other 'escalations of activity' (that could only be a politicians phrase), the rate of deaths is growing very fast indeed.
Believe.
* footnote. Don't think I'm that clever! The scaling down in this blog's subtitles from Who Do I Believe... to Believe.. is not my clever literary invention. If you want to know more google 'Heaven 17 Do I Believe' and consult their excellent lyrics. A track from their Bigger Than America CD.
Thursday, 9 July 2009
STATE OF THE NATION..
Back from holiday in Central Europe. What a nice country Slovakia was. Refreshing change from the dirty streets of anytown, UK (and the Hungarians won't like this but far cleaner than the streets of Budapest too). Even the poorer gypsy villages are still clean and orderly.
So what of the UK?
At the moment I am involved in a piece of work that means I am researching the UK government's (and various regional partner's) role in attracting more companies, more jobs and more prosperity from overseas. It doesn't bode well when I am having a devils job even getting hold of anybody from the central government department charged with inward investment promotion! This is an ever expanding public sector employee problem - mails returned with "I am now away on annual leave until..."
I copy here an e-mail I just sent to my brother that says it all:
-------------------------------
From: ------
To: -----
etc
dial this number 0207 215 2471 (with your phone on speakerphone)
This is the published direct line to UKTI (UK Trade and Investment) - the central body charged with a) promoting the UK as an inward investment location internationally, b) promoting all UK business to export more and therefore earn more money and jobs...
put your phone on speakerphone and let everyone within earshot hear the state of the nation...
then pack your bags as quick as you can!
P
-------------------------------
End of today's blog. I have a bag to pack.
Unfortunately, I have a few more years to wait until my son is through school.
So what of the UK?
At the moment I am involved in a piece of work that means I am researching the UK government's (and various regional partner's) role in attracting more companies, more jobs and more prosperity from overseas. It doesn't bode well when I am having a devils job even getting hold of anybody from the central government department charged with inward investment promotion! This is an ever expanding public sector employee problem - mails returned with "I am now away on annual leave until..."
I copy here an e-mail I just sent to my brother that says it all:
-------------------------------
From: ------
To: -----
etc
dial this number 0207 215 2471 (with your phone on speakerphone)
This is the published direct line to UKTI (UK Trade and Investment) - the central body charged with a) promoting the UK as an inward investment location internationally, b) promoting all UK business to export more and therefore earn more money and jobs...
put your phone on speakerphone and let everyone within earshot hear the state of the nation...
then pack your bags as quick as you can!
P
-------------------------------
End of today's blog. I have a bag to pack.
Unfortunately, I have a few more years to wait until my son is through school.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
EXPENSIVE MISTAKES..
Another day, another MP's expenses claim leak. Today's include Bill Wiggin, a Shadow Minister who claims to have put down the wrong address on his expenses form by mistake and therefore claimed mortgage interest on his family home that he hasn't even got a mortgage on the lucky man (lucky for having no mortgage obviously, not so lucky for being found out!). Of course Bill, we all know you meant to put the London apartment address down but got confused by the oh-so-difficult PAAE form filling exercise (see common sense in my last blog). He seems to have claimed up to £20k a year since 2001/02 based on the info at theyworkforyou.com. Useful error to have made.
On the subject of this mistake, let's have a look at Bill's past life - might he be an ordinary bloke from the street that found himself elected as an MP and therefore prone to making adminstrative mistakes? Here's his wiki entry:
Wiggin is the son of former MP Jerry Wiggin.. He attended Eton and later read Economics at the University of Wales, Bangor. He also served in the Royal Welch Fusiliers in the TA, being a platoon commander for Holyhead, Bangor and Caernarfon. Following this, Wiggin worked as a Trader in Foreign Exchange Options for UBS from 1991-3, then was an Associate Director of Kleinwort Benson from 1994-98, then as a manager in the Foreign Exchange department of Commerzbank from 1998..
But, just one minute! It might not be Bill's fault! This is from the House of Commons guidance on filling out PAAE2 forms: If you have a mortgage, a copy of your annual statement of interest must be provided each year to the Department. If it is not clear from this documentation what the amount of interest payable is on the property, further evidence may be required. You must also inform the Department of any alterations to the terms of your mortgage.
How could this mistake have gone un-noticed if he was being asked to provide a mortgage statement of interest based on a home that had no mortgage on it? The system was not exactly well policed? Maybe we have been paying an extortionate amount to some private consultancy company (insert any big name here) to 'audit' the process. Maybe this is the next scandal? One whose Board is made up of senior former MPs or is advised by current MPs?
At the moment it would seem the whole UK political stack is about to tumble. Some of my more left wing friends are calling for the next Guy Fawkes and looking forward to an entirely new political process to replace what can only be described as the pile of poo that we have right now. I'm not so optimistic about it all really. If you scan the websites of the popluar newspapers - NOTW, Sun etc they do mention political troubles. But todays for example also mention in as many column inches, if not more;
1. Some guy off The Apprentice who allegedly swallowed a hamster at a party?
2 Some woman off The Apprentice who stripped for some photos?
(note: both of the above come above the MPs expenses story)
3 Some woman with fake tits (who Polko actually likes for her menipulation [sic] of the media) who has thrown out her husband and his personal chattels - including a first copy of his CD single, Mysterious Girl - what's he going to do without it I ask?
etc
etc
And of course, there's a whole dollop of football news in there too.
God save us all. If only you were real God.
Which brings me to football. Well, almost. This Friday sees the release of a movie that is based on a book that has been wallowing around for some years. The movie is called Away Days. Great website. Really well thought out write up about football hooligan fashion at the turn of the 1980s. Shame that the fashion world is trying to jump on the bandwagon and re-release all those clothes all over again. Don't get me wrong, I would love to buy another blue benetton rugby shirt, but people are going to look prize dicks walking around in Sergio Tacchini tracksuits and Kappa roll-necks in the 21st Century. I cannot believe the amount of people that have started speaking about various items of retro dresser wear - like the book's author I find it hard to talk about the cult as 'football casuals' as there was nothing casual about the £200+ Valentino and Armani jumpers I was wearing in the early 80s, or the trainers that cost then what they do now. How did we all afford it? That's for another blog methinks :-)
So, to all those people who claim to have been there in the thick of it - you weren't there mate, you couldn't have been, otherwise I'd know ya! (my sense of humour knows no bounds?)
Anyway, it was great. It is over. Let's leave it at that. And a picture.
On the subject of this mistake, let's have a look at Bill's past life - might he be an ordinary bloke from the street that found himself elected as an MP and therefore prone to making adminstrative mistakes? Here's his wiki entry:
Wiggin is the son of former MP Jerry Wiggin.. He attended Eton and later read Economics at the University of Wales, Bangor. He also served in the Royal Welch Fusiliers in the TA, being a platoon commander for Holyhead, Bangor and Caernarfon. Following this, Wiggin worked as a Trader in Foreign Exchange Options for UBS from 1991-3, then was an Associate Director of Kleinwort Benson from 1994-98, then as a manager in the Foreign Exchange department of Commerzbank from 1998..
But, just one minute! It might not be Bill's fault! This is from the House of Commons guidance on filling out PAAE2 forms: If you have a mortgage, a copy of your annual statement of interest must be provided each year to the Department. If it is not clear from this documentation what the amount of interest payable is on the property, further evidence may be required. You must also inform the Department of any alterations to the terms of your mortgage.
How could this mistake have gone un-noticed if he was being asked to provide a mortgage statement of interest based on a home that had no mortgage on it? The system was not exactly well policed? Maybe we have been paying an extortionate amount to some private consultancy company (insert any big name here) to 'audit' the process. Maybe this is the next scandal? One whose Board is made up of senior former MPs or is advised by current MPs?
At the moment it would seem the whole UK political stack is about to tumble. Some of my more left wing friends are calling for the next Guy Fawkes and looking forward to an entirely new political process to replace what can only be described as the pile of poo that we have right now. I'm not so optimistic about it all really. If you scan the websites of the popluar newspapers - NOTW, Sun etc they do mention political troubles. But todays for example also mention in as many column inches, if not more;
1. Some guy off The Apprentice who allegedly swallowed a hamster at a party?
2 Some woman off The Apprentice who stripped for some photos?
(note: both of the above come above the MPs expenses story)
3 Some woman with fake tits (who Polko actually likes for her menipulation [sic] of the media) who has thrown out her husband and his personal chattels - including a first copy of his CD single, Mysterious Girl - what's he going to do without it I ask?
etcetc
And of course, there's a whole dollop of football news in there too.
God save us all. If only you were real God.
Which brings me to football. Well, almost. This Friday sees the release of a movie that is based on a book that has been wallowing around for some years. The movie is called Away Days. Great website. Really well thought out write up about football hooligan fashion at the turn of the 1980s. Shame that the fashion world is trying to jump on the bandwagon and re-release all those clothes all over again. Don't get me wrong, I would love to buy another blue benetton rugby shirt, but people are going to look prize dicks walking around in Sergio Tacchini tracksuits and Kappa roll-necks in the 21st Century. I cannot believe the amount of people that have started speaking about various items of retro dresser wear - like the book's author I find it hard to talk about the cult as 'football casuals' as there was nothing casual about the £200+ Valentino and Armani jumpers I was wearing in the early 80s, or the trainers that cost then what they do now. How did we all afford it? That's for another blog methinks :-)
So, to all those people who claim to have been there in the thick of it - you weren't there mate, you couldn't have been, otherwise I'd know ya! (my sense of humour knows no bounds?)
Anyway, it was great. It is over. Let's leave it at that. And a picture.
Thursday, 7 May 2009
OOOOPS...
Today's news contained a topical clip about a research team that have randomly bought up cheap hard drives from online disposal websites, eBay and PC auctions and then discovereed all manner of confidential information on them or in deleted but recoverable spaces.
They even found weapons testing details on some, contractor arrangements and corporate bank account numbers - supposedly disposed of by a responsible public sector organisation that has a published data integrity policy. And they want us to agree to ID cards? My arse. Wait til the next time somebody asks me if my company have a similar policy in place (see end picture - there's our policy on these matters).
This is topical because I have an old 3.4Gb drive that's been on the office floor for ages (say it three point four..... sounds feeble now, I paid a fortune for it in the days when drives were sized in Megabytes!). So, it's time to well and truly dispose of the thing. To help in any future endeavours of the same type that you might have - and to save your details being 'found' and used against you (!) - here's a mini-tutorial..
1. Take hard drive and crack open the case. There are no screws on most drives you just pry open the aluminium (US readers spot the second i, and pronounce it!) and peer inside.
2. Obtain a couple of star bit screwdrivers from Maplins or similar retailer and undo a load of screws. In fact, all that you can see.
3. You should now be able to lift off the metallic coated disks one by one. The last few may not come out easily - just get a big screwdriver underneath and bend 'em up!
4. Marvel at the slippery shiny sensation in your hands. They are coated and feel great!
5. Lament in the destruction of said shiny surfaces with your Stanley knife..
6. Scatter the bits across various places and places (responsibly of course) and sleep safe in the knowledge nobody will uncover your financial details or personal web surfing preferences, etc - well at least until the government give them away or sell them when harvested..
Geek? Me? Never.. You should see what I've done to one of my PS3 controllers this week!
Here's my homage to the dead drive. Art indeed!
They even found weapons testing details on some, contractor arrangements and corporate bank account numbers - supposedly disposed of by a responsible public sector organisation that has a published data integrity policy. And they want us to agree to ID cards? My arse. Wait til the next time somebody asks me if my company have a similar policy in place (see end picture - there's our policy on these matters).
This is topical because I have an old 3.4Gb drive that's been on the office floor for ages (say it three point four..... sounds feeble now, I paid a fortune for it in the days when drives were sized in Megabytes!). So, it's time to well and truly dispose of the thing. To help in any future endeavours of the same type that you might have - and to save your details being 'found' and used against you (!) - here's a mini-tutorial..
1. Take hard drive and crack open the case. There are no screws on most drives you just pry open the aluminium (US readers spot the second i, and pronounce it!) and peer inside.
2. Obtain a couple of star bit screwdrivers from Maplins or similar retailer and undo a load of screws. In fact, all that you can see.
3. You should now be able to lift off the metallic coated disks one by one. The last few may not come out easily - just get a big screwdriver underneath and bend 'em up!
4. Marvel at the slippery shiny sensation in your hands. They are coated and feel great!
5. Lament in the destruction of said shiny surfaces with your Stanley knife..
6. Scatter the bits across various places and places (responsibly of course) and sleep safe in the knowledge nobody will uncover your financial details or personal web surfing preferences, etc - well at least until the government give them away or sell them when harvested..
Geek? Me? Never.. You should see what I've done to one of my PS3 controllers this week!
Here's my homage to the dead drive. Art indeed!
Thursday, 30 April 2009
NO MORE..
I am not going to say any more about swine flu on my blog for now. The whole episode / pandemic is just getting too much exposure. The BBC led their news site this morning with the main WHO story plus eight more pages that you could dig into and freak yourself out about. Enough. Let's just have the news, I don't want a "Pandemic in Pictures" or "Mapping The Pandemic" site, nor do I want fancy graphics that show me the various levels of the WHO Pandemic Rating System.
Enough.
My only comment will come, appropriately, in 28 Days from the first announcement of the cross-border problem at Level 5 (April 23). So, til 21 May. Zip. Nothing. Nada.
On another note, I enjoyed plotting my day on the blog yesterday. It didn't really surprise me. My days are pretty similar from one to the next at the moment. Polko's world of work has been busy busy busy for ten years but is now suffering like everyone else's (outside of the public sector where Polko says, "busy does not really apply"). Even then, those in the public sector are now beginning to worry about some of their positions. As we should all be aware, it's just not possible to pay that kind of public sector wage bill each month when the government have just given away billions to the banking sector and the private sector isn't exactly generating large tax revenues. There is now talk of final salary pension schemes being 'amended', 'revised', cut and/or suspended for some in the public sector. Welcome to the real world people! Just when you thought it was safe to stay in public sector waters..
Whilst googling for the Jaws Poster (lovingly re-interpreted by Mrs Polko - thank you!) I came across an interesting concept on someone else's blog (Spectacular Attractions - film in all its forms). Basically, take three screen grabs of a film from 10, 40 and 70 minute points and analyse the essence of the film from just those three. Nicholas Rombes, a University of Detroit Mercy prof, called this idea "freedom through constraint" in his book A Cultural Dictionary of Punk. I like the idea and will try it out. Watch out some time soon for the first.
Now I have those expenses hanging over from yesterday to sort out. And maybe one or two skirmishes in Azerbaijan on Call of Duty 4. Today will be more freedom than constraint methinks?
Enough.
My only comment will come, appropriately, in 28 Days from the first announcement of the cross-border problem at Level 5 (April 23). So, til 21 May. Zip. Nothing. Nada.
On another note, I enjoyed plotting my day on the blog yesterday. It didn't really surprise me. My days are pretty similar from one to the next at the moment. Polko's world of work has been busy busy busy for ten years but is now suffering like everyone else's (outside of the public sector where Polko says, "busy does not really apply"). Even then, those in the public sector are now beginning to worry about some of their positions. As we should all be aware, it's just not possible to pay that kind of public sector wage bill each month when the government have just given away billions to the banking sector and the private sector isn't exactly generating large tax revenues. There is now talk of final salary pension schemes being 'amended', 'revised', cut and/or suspended for some in the public sector. Welcome to the real world people! Just when you thought it was safe to stay in public sector waters..
Whilst googling for the Jaws Poster (lovingly re-interpreted by Mrs Polko - thank you!) I came across an interesting concept on someone else's blog (Spectacular Attractions - film in all its forms). Basically, take three screen grabs of a film from 10, 40 and 70 minute points and analyse the essence of the film from just those three. Nicholas Rombes, a University of Detroit Mercy prof, called this idea "freedom through constraint" in his book A Cultural Dictionary of Punk. I like the idea and will try it out. Watch out some time soon for the first.
Now I have those expenses hanging over from yesterday to sort out. And maybe one or two skirmishes in Azerbaijan on Call of Duty 4. Today will be more freedom than constraint methinks?
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
ENGLAND 0 THAILAND 4
The BBC carries the main story of the day today as; "Flights from Thailand's international airport have been suspended after hundreds of anti-government protesters stormed the building outside Bangkok. The demonstrators are in full control of Suvarnabhumi airport, leaving at least 3,000 passengers stranded."
Apparently they are trying to prevent Thai Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat returning to the country from an international summit in Peru.
Good luck to 'em I say. Our own government messes us all around in so many different ways these days and I cannot ever think that the English population would ever have the balls to do something so daring as this. And look at the armaments the Thai government's Forces and Police carry around with them - ours only have batons and handcuffs! The Thai's are brave indeed.
The English prefer instead to sit around in their boxes each night moaning about the price of fuel to each other, the state of football or the weather. All I know is the old spirit of England that was still around with our parents and parents' parents has now finally been extinguished by the fan of modern politics whose strapline should be something like: keep 'em dumb, keep 'em down. See my last blog on How To Win by Distraction While Introducing More Tax.
Apparently they are trying to prevent Thai Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat returning to the country from an international summit in Peru.
Good luck to 'em I say. Our own government messes us all around in so many different ways these days and I cannot ever think that the English population would ever have the balls to do something so daring as this. And look at the armaments the Thai government's Forces and Police carry around with them - ours only have batons and handcuffs! The Thai's are brave indeed.
The English prefer instead to sit around in their boxes each night moaning about the price of fuel to each other, the state of football or the weather. All I know is the old spirit of England that was still around with our parents and parents' parents has now finally been extinguished by the fan of modern politics whose strapline should be something like: keep 'em dumb, keep 'em down. See my last blog on How To Win by Distraction While Introducing More Tax.
Keep watching Celebrity Big X Factor In The Jungle folks!
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?
As if Alistair Darling isn't a silly enough name, now the man in charge of the UK's public finances is trying to be Clark Kent aka Superman too. He has made a statement that he is not prepared to let the recession in the UK take its natural course... New Labour to the rescue! Who on earth does he think he is? Does he honestly think he can beat the effects and moves of the international financial system. At best a naive thought, at worst a very damaging one indeed.
November's Pre-Budget speech was launched (officially at least) on Monday 24 Nov. It contained a lot of nothing much as far as many economists were concerned and seemed to go round in circles in many parts. The obvious targeting of a few smoking guns in a rise in income tax for those earning over £150,000 - netting little of the necessary finances that the government are going to need if their plans for boosting the economy are to be realised. Good headlines for middle England. Takes their attention off the 0.5% rise everybody will pay in National Insurance contributions! Realistically, it looks like everyone earning somewhere between £20,000 and £35-40,000 a year or more will be worse off through the package of measures announced in the speech. But the headlines of hitting high earners look good dont' they? I'm not even going to discuss the Manifesto pledge of not raising income taxes that New Labour once promised - they've decided to raise income tax, but not until after the next election, this they maintain is not really technically raising taxes in their government is it? is it? what do they take people for?
VAT down from 17.5% to 15% for 13 months - an ominous choice of term if you're superstitious! More worryingly, not even a bold or educated policy shift. Interestingly, my local landlord simply said last night that this was good as he wouldn't pass the reduction on to his customers, pocketing an extra bit of profit instead. I suspect this is pretty much what almost all businesses will do. Net result: lower tax receipts (of around £12.5bn) + no change in consumer behaviour = own goal Labour. Nice one. Again.
As others are pointing out there really is a more simple solution to help the average person in the street and therefore help everyone in the economy. People do not ponder hard over the rate of VAT and buy more items when it moves a few percentage points downwards (assuming of course that price changes are somehow related to changes in the rate of VAT, see my point about our local landlord above!). Vince Cable of the Liberal Democrats hit the nail on the head with the following statement, "What I fail to see is how the economy gets a major stimulus for, for example, a £5 cut in a £220 imported flat screen television or a 50p cut in a £25 restaurant bill," he said. Here, here.
The key indicator for the average householder's budget is the size of their largest debt payment - their mortgage - and therefore what money they have left over after its payment.
The government in my opinion should be focusing on maintaining pressure on banks to keep interest rate reductions being passed on to those with housing debt problems, thus helping the average person's net income position. Secondly, work with the banking system to ensure liquidity between them and commercial borrowers. If personal borrowing dries up people tend to spend less, a proportion of which is always on imported TVs and the like anyway. When commercial borrowing gets difficult or in this case stops altogether, businesses are more directly affected and jobs are lost much quicker across the economy than when consumer spending starts to wane.
But then, what would I know? I only have a First Class honours degree and a Masters in economics.
Leave it to the former teachers in the New Labour project. We'll be alright. Won't we?
November's Pre-Budget speech was launched (officially at least) on Monday 24 Nov. It contained a lot of nothing much as far as many economists were concerned and seemed to go round in circles in many parts. The obvious targeting of a few smoking guns in a rise in income tax for those earning over £150,000 - netting little of the necessary finances that the government are going to need if their plans for boosting the economy are to be realised. Good headlines for middle England. Takes their attention off the 0.5% rise everybody will pay in National Insurance contributions! Realistically, it looks like everyone earning somewhere between £20,000 and £35-40,000 a year or more will be worse off through the package of measures announced in the speech. But the headlines of hitting high earners look good dont' they? I'm not even going to discuss the Manifesto pledge of not raising income taxes that New Labour once promised - they've decided to raise income tax, but not until after the next election, this they maintain is not really technically raising taxes in their government is it? is it? what do they take people for?
VAT down from 17.5% to 15% for 13 months - an ominous choice of term if you're superstitious! More worryingly, not even a bold or educated policy shift. Interestingly, my local landlord simply said last night that this was good as he wouldn't pass the reduction on to his customers, pocketing an extra bit of profit instead. I suspect this is pretty much what almost all businesses will do. Net result: lower tax receipts (of around £12.5bn) + no change in consumer behaviour = own goal Labour. Nice one. Again.
As others are pointing out there really is a more simple solution to help the average person in the street and therefore help everyone in the economy. People do not ponder hard over the rate of VAT and buy more items when it moves a few percentage points downwards (assuming of course that price changes are somehow related to changes in the rate of VAT, see my point about our local landlord above!). Vince Cable of the Liberal Democrats hit the nail on the head with the following statement, "What I fail to see is how the economy gets a major stimulus for, for example, a £5 cut in a £220 imported flat screen television or a 50p cut in a £25 restaurant bill," he said. Here, here.
The key indicator for the average householder's budget is the size of their largest debt payment - their mortgage - and therefore what money they have left over after its payment.
The government in my opinion should be focusing on maintaining pressure on banks to keep interest rate reductions being passed on to those with housing debt problems, thus helping the average person's net income position. Secondly, work with the banking system to ensure liquidity between them and commercial borrowers. If personal borrowing dries up people tend to spend less, a proportion of which is always on imported TVs and the like anyway. When commercial borrowing gets difficult or in this case stops altogether, businesses are more directly affected and jobs are lost much quicker across the economy than when consumer spending starts to wane.
But then, what would I know? I only have a First Class honours degree and a Masters in economics.
Leave it to the former teachers in the New Labour project. We'll be alright. Won't we?
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
RUTHLESS (IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE)
An abstract thought, but I hope interesting nonetheless.
I was driving in a town near me the other day and kept reaching the traffic lights next to a security van. Time after time it was me and the security guards looking into each others vehicles (my car is a 4x4 so they could see me and I them). This carried on for four or five sets of lights around the ring road and I felt like they were looking at me and becoming suspicious - not that I routinely look like a gangster or ne'er do well but I had been out the night before with a friend and was unshaven and hungover so probably looked a little rough at the edges to say the least. If only they knew I was at that very moment listening to Wham's Greatest Hits in my car! I'm guessing this is hardly your average gangsters choice of music while on the job.
I got to thinking what is statistically the most significant day of the week for security vans to get done over / blagged / held up - you choose the dialect and accent depending on where your from. There must be a specific day that more vans get done over than any other? Friday's, and this was a Friday that I am speaking of, have got to be up there as a prime candidate? End of week wages blags and all that? And, taking this further, there are probably regional variations in preferred days of operation of the scumbags, preferred vehicles and methods of operation.. Now, if you could collate all that information into a database and analyse it spatially you would have a great - and profitable - line of business. Advising the security firms of when to go out, what to look for and which vans to have tagged and followed by others/Police etc?
Or, given the millions involved in this line of business, maybe this already happens?
Anyway... onto something a little lighter... as if! This week I am finally going to dig out my copy of the Ruthless Rap Assassins 1991 release Th!nk - It Ain't Illegal Yet. One of my all time favourite UK conscious rap releases, and all done in a flat in Hulme - now sadly (in a strange way?) pulled down and 'regenerated' into an entire district of Lego houses all resplendent with an array of 'To Let' or 'For Sale' signs on them, inhabited by grey students whose only act of rebellion these days is ordering the Grandé Cappuccino at Starbucks not the Regular, or perhaps sprinkling a little more cocoa powder on there than usual? These kiddies would shudder at the thought of the student squats that used to stand where mummy and daddy have bought their little box in the city, sorry I should use the term apartment. There, does that make you feel better for paying so much for it?
The link is this. The Ruthless Rap Assassins, three black kids who grew up North Hulme, Manchester in the 80s wrote some amazing lyrics about how life was getting a little duller each day, people's minds becoming numbed by everyday celebrity tat and how the US and UK governments (along with many other of their cronies) was marauding the world in the honest name of capitalism and democracy! This was 1991. This was the age of the Gulf War. Who knows what happened to Anderson, Kermit and Carson (and if you do, please get in touch as I'd personally love to buy 'em all a drink and ask them to start writing this stuff again) but their lyrics are now more salient than ever in describing the trajectory that this country has found itself on.. from the students who now live their Wi-Fi broadband-enabled Diesel-clothes-clad lives where the Assassins flat and those of others such as A Guy Called Gerald once stood to the countless hordes of suburban families in Barratt Homes feeding off a diet of cheap Tesco food, Hello! magazine, Celebrity This And That on TV and shopping centres filled from floor to ceiling with all the latest stuff you never knew you didn't want.
I'm not a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here..
Here's a short excerpt of those lyrics written at the emergence of the 90s housing market crisis, 1st Gulf War and post-Poll Tax/Public Utility sell-offs please do take time to think, it really ain't illegal.. yet..
excerpt: Think (Hinds/Hinds), 1991
Britains in a mess because the government stinks
Does anybody care what the poor man thinks
Interest rates rising 'til they can't rise no more
You know the shit was heavy 'cos they started a war
You know who got the blame, they called him insane
But just who was it sold him the weapons and planes
The National Health's in trouble, lack of money is why
But still they spent millions sendin' people to die
Too many people scared to stand up and rebel
You listen to the government and you buy what they sell
They made the cuts and the nation bears the scars
Sold power to the people when the power was ours
And now you're an owner but something ain't right
'Cos if you don't pay your bills they still cut your light
Companies going under and the government say
To keep inflation down that's the price we have to pay
They sold shares in gas and telecon
Most people on the street couldn't get none
Worked like a slave to buy your own house
But when you heard the shout you were gettin' thrown out
Got no bread, can't afford the water
Can't meet the bills at the end of the quarter
Poverty is hell and most are on the brink
You let it happen 'cos you didn't stop and think
I was driving in a town near me the other day and kept reaching the traffic lights next to a security van. Time after time it was me and the security guards looking into each others vehicles (my car is a 4x4 so they could see me and I them). This carried on for four or five sets of lights around the ring road and I felt like they were looking at me and becoming suspicious - not that I routinely look like a gangster or ne'er do well but I had been out the night before with a friend and was unshaven and hungover so probably looked a little rough at the edges to say the least. If only they knew I was at that very moment listening to Wham's Greatest Hits in my car! I'm guessing this is hardly your average gangsters choice of music while on the job.
I got to thinking what is statistically the most significant day of the week for security vans to get done over / blagged / held up - you choose the dialect and accent depending on where your from. There must be a specific day that more vans get done over than any other? Friday's, and this was a Friday that I am speaking of, have got to be up there as a prime candidate? End of week wages blags and all that? And, taking this further, there are probably regional variations in preferred days of operation of the scumbags, preferred vehicles and methods of operation.. Now, if you could collate all that information into a database and analyse it spatially you would have a great - and profitable - line of business. Advising the security firms of when to go out, what to look for and which vans to have tagged and followed by others/Police etc?
Or, given the millions involved in this line of business, maybe this already happens?
Anyway... onto something a little lighter... as if! This week I am finally going to dig out my copy of the Ruthless Rap Assassins 1991 release Th!nk - It Ain't Illegal Yet. One of my all time favourite UK conscious rap releases, and all done in a flat in Hulme - now sadly (in a strange way?) pulled down and 'regenerated' into an entire district of Lego houses all resplendent with an array of 'To Let' or 'For Sale' signs on them, inhabited by grey students whose only act of rebellion these days is ordering the Grandé Cappuccino at Starbucks not the Regular, or perhaps sprinkling a little more cocoa powder on there than usual? These kiddies would shudder at the thought of the student squats that used to stand where mummy and daddy have bought their little box in the city, sorry I should use the term apartment. There, does that make you feel better for paying so much for it?
The link is this. The Ruthless Rap Assassins, three black kids who grew up North Hulme, Manchester in the 80s wrote some amazing lyrics about how life was getting a little duller each day, people's minds becoming numbed by everyday celebrity tat and how the US and UK governments (along with many other of their cronies) was marauding the world in the honest name of capitalism and democracy! This was 1991. This was the age of the Gulf War. Who knows what happened to Anderson, Kermit and Carson (and if you do, please get in touch as I'd personally love to buy 'em all a drink and ask them to start writing this stuff again) but their lyrics are now more salient than ever in describing the trajectory that this country has found itself on.. from the students who now live their Wi-Fi broadband-enabled Diesel-clothes-clad lives where the Assassins flat and those of others such as A Guy Called Gerald once stood to the countless hordes of suburban families in Barratt Homes feeding off a diet of cheap Tesco food, Hello! magazine, Celebrity This And That on TV and shopping centres filled from floor to ceiling with all the latest stuff you never knew you didn't want.
I'm not a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here..
Here's a short excerpt of those lyrics written at the emergence of the 90s housing market crisis, 1st Gulf War and post-Poll Tax/Public Utility sell-offs please do take time to think, it really ain't illegal.. yet..
excerpt: Think (Hinds/Hinds), 1991
Britains in a mess because the government stinks
Does anybody care what the poor man thinks
Interest rates rising 'til they can't rise no more
You know the shit was heavy 'cos they started a war
You know who got the blame, they called him insane
But just who was it sold him the weapons and planes
The National Health's in trouble, lack of money is why
But still they spent millions sendin' people to die
Too many people scared to stand up and rebel
You listen to the government and you buy what they sell
They made the cuts and the nation bears the scars
Sold power to the people when the power was ours
And now you're an owner but something ain't right
'Cos if you don't pay your bills they still cut your light
Companies going under and the government say
To keep inflation down that's the price we have to pay
They sold shares in gas and telecon
Most people on the street couldn't get none
Worked like a slave to buy your own house
But when you heard the shout you were gettin' thrown out
Got no bread, can't afford the water
Can't meet the bills at the end of the quarter
Poverty is hell and most are on the brink
You let it happen 'cos you didn't stop and think
Monday, 22 September 2008
ROLE OF GOVERNMENT - PART 4.... and counting
I'll let the image do the talking on this one..
Those who have read or spoken to me on the "role of government" and/or other public sector bodies will know what I think of any policy that attempts to interfere unnaturally in order to provide a "more equitable distribution" of University undergraduates..
I leave you with this series of questions..
what is equity? should it be based on parental income? on what your background is? which postcode you use on your application form? or should it perhaps be based on how intelligent you are.. maybe?
I for one hope the Vice Chancellor of Cambridge's views (second clip above) will become more widespread in the academic community..
Those who have read or spoken to me on the "role of government" and/or other public sector bodies will know what I think of any policy that attempts to interfere unnaturally in order to provide a "more equitable distribution" of University undergraduates..
I leave you with this series of questions..
what is equity? should it be based on parental income? on what your background is? which postcode you use on your application form? or should it perhaps be based on how intelligent you are.. maybe?
I for one hope the Vice Chancellor of Cambridge's views (second clip above) will become more widespread in the academic community..
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