..and so it is. The end of another relatively flat working week. But, at least Polko's got some work to do? Feel more sorry for the investment bankers that are now sat at home twiddling their thumbs. Or don't, as the case may be.
I was sent a bunch of Friday jokes (joke emails are constrained to Friday's in Polko's office - if you send me them any other time of the week, they get binned instantly!). Some are worth setting down in this blog for longevity.
Q: What's the capital of Iceland?
A: About £3.50
Q: Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon
This second one brings me neatly to an observation I made last night. There was nothing on TV, nothing at all. Quite a feat given we have Sky TV and about a zillion channels to choose from. As I flicked through high number channels (don't ask me why we have Sky as we tend to stick to the first 6 channels or so anyway - that way you don't wear out your thumb on the remote?) I noticed two channels called..
Real Estate TV & Real Estate TV+1 (Sky 262 and 263 if you're sad enough to be interested)
Now come on, I know there's been a fair bit of interest in property in the UK in the last five years or so - a lot of it by misguided individuals who call themselves 'property developers' because they've bought or have been left a second house to rent out - they should meet some of my clients. The ones buying up 100+ acre sites or blocks of city and town centres to build billion pound shopping centres and office parks - you know, property developers... get it? I don't think some of you do...
Anyway, I digress. Now, I'm not in TV but if ever there was a flawed business model in the media world it has to be to start a digital TV channel specialising in property, or 'real estate' as they seem to want to call it (it'll never catch on in the UK?), at around the time of peak property prices, over-inflated loan to value deals, rising re-possessions, increasing unemployment/uncertainty in the jobs market and zero liquidity in the financial system?
A quick browse to their website reveals that this so called TV company is just another part of the investment scam that has been driving the market in the past few years - the only real content on there is a search engine for finding property for sale - and this appears to be pretty much tied to major new build developments with explanations such as, "Hot new apartments at Celsius, Bracknell's new landmark development". Who are they trying to kid, £180,000 for a 1 bedroom apartment (and note that's from £180,000). On the old model (3.5 times your salary lending) that would need an income of £51,250 (and I am assuming a 100% mortgage here too). Which first time buyer is going to be earning that then?
Of course, in the real world (away from Real Estate TV's domain) new build developments are full of such stupidity - developers have been paying crazy money per acre for their land, the cost of materials has been rising rapidly and therefore end prices have been on an upwards spiral since 2000. We all know this. Yet, many people have jumped in and bought houses on new developments to try and rent them out and become 'property developers' - thus falling unfairly and squarely into the waiting hands of the real developers who've cashed in, closed out most remaining residential schemes and are sat waiting for the next circus to hit town. If I see it coming down the road I'm sorely tempted to change profession and become a ringmaster. Watch this space.
..and so to finish on a high note, another one of those Friday jokes..
Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: 'You know, I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.'
Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: 'Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.' Gordon says: 'Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says: 'I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy.'
Here. Here.
No comments:
Post a Comment