Easter break. we just had my son's friends over for a sleepover - at 11 they act like 14.. but I guess that's life these days.
The alarming thing is his friends ability to try and spend money like it's water. I live on a hill, 2 miles from the nearest shops but even before we got there with his friends for the first time, they were asking about how far we were from the nearest shop to buy things? One of them had £35 in his pockets (for a one night stayover?!!?) and the other (from what I'd say judging the house they live in - just round the corner from where I used to live - a less well off family) another £15...
Thank god I brought up my son to know about money - where it comes from, how much effort goes into the people who send me cheques, how much studying it took for me to send out those invoices, you know... the whole cycle of try, win, work, get paid, go to cashtill...
Seems his friends haven't a clue. I don't know who's right, but I'm happy with the way I've done it so far. And it almost-half-pains me (given her own greediness) to say, his mum is also doing the right thing too it would seem. How many of these kids are gonna get a right old shock when they hit the real world? Not mine. And that's all that matters I suppose.
As the sleepover progressed one of the kids was going on about how his dad has this new fast convertible car.. da di da di... bla bla blah... and it's a BMW too. woo hoo!
Rhyme intended (just so happens I have a 50 yr old classic engineered to exacting tolerances that BMW would die for - and that his dad probably hasn't got the brains to have ever heard about in his life.. add to that the fact that I could go out tomorrow and buy a brand new Bee-em-double-shit if I wanted to - cash I might add, no down payment and monthly debits here). Don't get me wrong - this is NOT how it reads, I really hatew it when people get impressed by what someone's got - I've got a load of nice things, so f*cking what? Don't change who I am.
The real revelation is that my son at 11 years old already knows (and appreciates) that it doesn't really matter what you've got - my work could dry up tomorrow (and certainly nobody is going to pay me for doing nothing, I can't go "on the sick" and still get paid for weeks on end) and I could lose the cars, the lifestyle etc but the thing is if the shit went down, i mean, really down, I could walk away from this pile of stone and roof and head out into the hills and live. Trap, eat, drink, etc. Food, clothes and shelter. That's all that matters. Full stop.
And all that you can really give kids is a realisation of the world as it is - and the means to put food, clothes and shelter in their reach. That doesn't mean putting almost fifty quid or so in their pocket and telling them to piss off out of the way for the afternoon and go and buy some trainers made through exploiting less fortunate kiddies than themselves.
The next day we marched said kids out on a four mile walk - a bit tame by 'family Polko' standards but they had stayed up til the early hours. These kids couldn't even put one foot in front of the other without stumbling and falling over - they just don't have what it takes off a pavement (and probably have trouble with kerbs, traffic lights and urban street furniture let alone rough-ish moorland). To their credit they finished without a moan and seemed to enjoy the quiet and wilderness of it all.
Now as I sit here on my hill thinking, as I often do, I'm suddenly struck by the thought that for someone who hasn't got a clue about kids, I've probably done alright with my son making it up as we go along. He has enough life skills to whoop ass on plenty of adults already. He's 11, roll on another few years and he's gonna be runnin' like nobody's business.
One happy Polko this evening - in the kitchen eating home made pasta and listening to New Order - Dreams Never End - discounting the fact that Mrs Polko is at her friends and not by my side - but we all have to have our space.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder... other things tend to grow on the return too... but that's another story?
1 comment:
For what it's worth (which is increasingly hard to judge in the current economic climate - ho ho ho!), my opinion is that you are doing a great job with your boy. He's smart, confident, energetic and willing to give things a go, but without the precociousness that many kids have when they are aware that they come from a relatively privileged background. He's a real credit to you.
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