DICKS

A long blog but worth it, trust me.

I just read this at PirateBay's website and feel the need to post it here too - from a collection of emails they regularly receive trying to stop them sharing a variety of material with other people on the web (despite pirate bay not having any actual content on their servers whatsoever). But hey! you knew that already. Being a reader of my blog you know all about file sharing don't you? don't you?

It makes the complainant look a right dick.. as well as grey as can be.. which is always welcome in my book:

>Subject: Copyright Claim
>Date: Saturday 15 April 2006 07:12
>From: email1@prophecyhouse.com
>To: tiamo_prq.se
>
>Please acknowledge receipt of this message and that it my claim is being
>addressed:

Uh? Please rephrase that. "that it my"?

>To whom it may concern at PRQ.se,
>
>1. I have placed the words "Copyright Claim" in this message's subject
>line (see above). I personally (Timothy J. Huckabay) am the legal
>copyright holder to the book The AntiChrist and a Cup of Tea
>(registration number TX-4-880-636) AND ALL VIDEOS RELATED TO IT WITH TIM
>COHEN (MY PEN NAME). I am also the owner and President of Prophecy
>House, Inc., which is the publisher of the book AND RELATED VIDEOS; you
>may visit our web site at www.prophecyhouse.com, where the book is
>previewable AND THE VIDEOS ARE SHOWN ON OUR ORDER FORMS, and see our
>order forms here: http://www.prophecyhouse.com/order (make sure you use
>a browser that has JavaScript enabled). THIS EMAIL MESSAGE, WHICH IS
>FROM WWW.PROPHECYHOUSE.COM (PROPHECY HOUSE'S DOMAIN), CONSTITUTES MY
>LEGAL ELECTRONIC SIGNATURE. However, if that is not sufficient, you may
>provide a fax number to me in your response, and I will fax a printed
>copy of this message with my written signature at the bottom of the
>fax. You may also call me directly at Prophecy House to address any
>questions you may have or any further information you feel you may need:
>303-693-6399.

Wow, that's a lot of text to read. You like to brag, don't you? "I am the owner",
"I am the president" and so forth. That's very nice. We don't really care.
I'm the president of my make-believe country The Pirate Islands. Oh, and I'm the
owner of my old Peugeot 205 (1989 year model) as well. Once we filmed that car
while I was driving. I guess I'm the owner of those tapes as well. So we have
ALOT in common! That's nice. But you brag about it, that's so not cool! :(

>ThePirateBay.org has posted and is permitting downloads of an illegal
>electronic version of MY VIDEO ON The AntiChrist and a Cup of Tea at this URL:
>http://thepiratebay.org/details.php?id=3439729

They are? I seriously doubt that they actually posted that torrent. I guess some
of those fellons using that evil site posted it, darn :(

>. You may contact me, the complaining party, here:
>
>Tim Huckabay
>Phone: 303-693-6399 (Prophecy House) or 720-284-7707 (my personal cell
>phone number)
>E-Mail: email1@prophecyhouse.com
>Prophecy House, Inc.
>P.O. Box 461104
>Aurora, CO 80046-1104
>USA

Hey wait a minute, this isn't a Copyright claim now is it? This looks more like
a personal ad! How about checking out some of the local press instead of trying
to pick up people in other continents? Actually, being in different countries
(even on different continents) means that we don't have the same laws here.
You know, in Sweden, it's still legal to do a lot of things. Elks can have sex
with eachother without being prosecuted for instance. And people are allowed
to copy. It's quite natural, both of them, don't you think?

>I, Timothy J. Huckabay, as the legal registered copyright holder of the
>said work (The AntiChrist and a Cup of Tea AND ALL VIDEOS RELATED TO IT
>IN WHICH TIM COHEN / HUCKABAY APPEARS), as the author of the said work
>(under my pen name Tim Cohen), and as the publisher of the said work
>through my company Prophecy House, Inc. (www.prophecyhouse.com), HAVE A
>GOOD FAITH BELIEF THAT USE OF ANY MATERIAL -- TO INCLUDE VIDEOS IN WHICH
>I, TIM HUCKABAY / COHEN, APPEAR -- WHATSOEVER FROM THE ANTICHRIST AND A
>CUP OF TEA (ISBN 0966279301, LCCN 98-84509) BY CONSPIRACYCENTRAL.NET OR
>ANY OTHER PARTY NOT EXPLICITLY AUTHORIZED BY ME AND PROPHECY HOUSE,
>INC., IN WRITING, IS NOT AUTHORIZED AND IS IN FACT ILLEGAL AND A
>VIOLATION OF ALL APPLICABLE COPYRIGHT LAWS GLOBALLY. FURTHERMORE, I
>HAVE A GOOD FAITH BELIEF THAT THEPIRATEBAY.ORG AND PRQ.se, AS THE
>HOSTING SERVICE, ARE BOTH INFRINGING MY LEGAL AND REGISTERED COPYRIGHTS.

You write with big letters, it make my head hurt. Come again, you're sending
us an e-mail telling us how wrong you are?

>ALL INFORMATION PROVIDED BY ME, TIMOTHY J. HUCKABAY, IN THIS EMAIL
>MESSAGE TO PRQ.se IS STATED UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY. I AM THE LEGAL
>AND REGISTERED COPYRIGHT HOLDER AND OWNER OF THE ANTICHRIST AND A CUP OF
>TEA BOOK AND ALL MATERIALS RELATED TO IT, TO INCLUDE VIDEOS, DVDS, CDS,
>ETC. THIS COMPLAINT IS GENERAL TO ALL VIDEO AND AUDIO MATERIALS IN
>WHICH I APPEAR OR PARTICIPATE THAT ARE RELATED TO THE ANTICHRIST AND A
>CUP OF TEA.

Bla bla bla.. those big letters again. Brag, brag, brag..

>So, in this section, I have a) provided PRQ.se with the necessary
>electronic signature, b) I have identified the infringed work to which I
>hold the copyright as the book entitled, The AntiChrist and a Cup of Tea
>AND ALL VIDEO AND AUDIO MATERIAL RELATED TO IT IN WHICH I APPEAR OR AM
>HEARD, c) I have provided PRQ.se with the precise location on
>thepiratebay.org's site where thepiratebay.org is permitting the world
>to download an illegal electronic version of my VIDEO ON The AntiChrist
>and a Cup of Tea (i.e., http://thepiratebay.org/details.php?id=3439729
>), d) my complete contact information as the complaining party, e) my
>good faith statement that my personal copyright of The AntiChrist and a
>Cup of Tea VIDEO ITEM is being infringed by both thepiratebay.org and
>PRQ.se, and f) my penalty of perjury statement that I am the legal and
>registered copyright owner of the said book and related materials as well.

In sweden we had a cool tv-show once. It was called "Vi i femman" (means
something like "we in the fifth grade") and it was a lot like your letter.
People answer questions about meaningless stuff. I'd like to answer like them!

On a) our answer is; "pannkaka" (google for it), and on b) we answer "congratulations".
Regarding c) our answer would have to be "hope you like the site" and on d)
"we understand your desperate needs".
Wow, a lot of questons, let's continue:
Our answer on both e) and f) is that we don't really have any faith in you, nor
do we actually believe that you are who you say you are. Can you please
send us a signed picture of yourself?

As a bonus answer on d) we would like to help you out, we understand the
severe problem you must have finding other men like yourself when you actually
try to hook up with random people in another continent like this!
So please go to http://thepiratebay.org/ and login. We have a quite large
porn section I guess, and since we are of such high moral we actually filter
the section for non-logged in users. So register (it's free!) and check it out!

>2. It is now PRQ.se's legal responsibility to to remove or disable
>access to http://thepiratebay.org/details.php?id=3439729 , where my
>copyrighted WORK is being infringed. Further, should this material be
>posted again on thepiratebay.org's site, while PRQ.se is
>thepiratebay.org's hosting service, we will be obliged to take legal
>action against both parties at that time.

Uuuuuhh.. no it's not. We don't infringe on anything, now you're getting a bit
too personal here! We might start to cry when you threaten us, and we don't
have anyone to take care of us. Is that your mighty plan?

>3. CONSIDER THIS TO BE APPROPRIATE EMAIL NOTIFICATION, PURSUANT TO
>COPYRIGHT CLAIMS IN THE DMCA AND PRQ.se'S OWN POLICIES. NOW IT IS
>PRQ.se'S RESPONSIBILITY TO FORWARD THIS WRITTEN NOTIFICATION TO
>THEPIRATEBAY.ORG, THE INFRINGER, AND TO TAKE REASONABLE STEPS PROMPTLY
>TO NOTIFY THE INFRINGER THAT IT HAS REMOVED OR DISABLED ACCESS TO MY
>COPYRIGHTED WORK'S MATERIAL (
>http://thepiratebay.org/details.php?id=3439729 ).

Consider this to be a letter that replies "fuck you" in an ironic yet subtle way.
Oh, damn, i just wrote it straight out!

>Sincerely,
>
>Timothy J. Huckabay
>President and Owner, Prophecy House, Inc. AND Legal Copyright Holder to
>The AntiChrist and a Cup of Tea book, etc.

Sincerely,
The Pirate Bay crew
presidents and owners, The Pirate Islands AND A 1989 Peugeot 205 GTI (the one with
the large engine) and copyright holders (*fnizz*) of the movies we shot during some
driving with it.